Searching For- Going Clear Scientology And The ... -

First, she stopped paying for auditing. Within a week, a “Security Check” — a humiliating interrogative session — was demanded. She refused. Then came the “Ethics” interview: “Are you looking at forbidden data?” She lied and said no.

One night, she watched Going Clear , the HBO documentary based on Lawrence Wright’s book. She had to hide in a friend’s apartment — a “blow” (escapee) who had fled the church.

Karen sold her car. She borrowed from her parents. She cut ties with “suppressive persons” (SPs) — friends who questioned her new path. She moved into a cramped Celebrity Centre dormitory, rising at 5 AM for training drills. She learned the Tech — Hubbard’s exact words, never altered. Searching for- going clear scientology and the ...

The loneliness was a physical pain. But she found a small online community — ex-Scientologists who called themselves “The Hole” (a dark joke about the church’s own inhumane confinement area). They told her: The depression is normal. The paranoia is normal. You’ll think you’re an SP for months. You’re not.

It’s now three years later. Karen lives in a small apartment in Portland. She writes again — not screenplays, but a blog about coercive control. She has not reconciled with her mother, but she has learned that “clear” was never a state of being. It was a product. First, she stopped paying for auditing

Leaving Scientology is not a single action. It’s a war.

Prologue: The Invitation

“Now the real work begins,” her Case Supervisor said. “You’ve erased the reactive mind. Next: Operating Thetan.”

The documentary’s climax — a former Sea Org member describing being locked in a chain locker for 23 hours a day for “handling his doubts” — made Karen vomit. Then came the “Ethics” interview: “Are you looking

Inside: the story of Xenu. Seventy-five million years ago, an alien ruler brought billions of frozen beings to Earth (then called “Teegeeack”), stacked them around volcanoes, and blew them up with H-bombs. Their souls stuck to human bodies — “body thetans.” Auditing’s goal was to blow off those sticky souls.