“You know, boss,” Kringle said, “for a jolly old soul, you sure have a talent for disaster.”
“HO HO HO,” it buzzed, jerking to life. “I AM SANTA. PLEASE INSERT COOKIE.”
Twinkle peered outside. There, in the middle of the frozen courtyard, lay Santa Claus. Not asleep. Not resting. He was flat on his back, tangled in a massive string of LED Christmas lights, his red coat covered in what appeared to be marshmallow fluff and cranberry sauce. Beside him, a prototype “Quantum Sleigh 3000” was smoking gently and emitting a low, sad beep. Santa Claus in trouble... again- Free Download
And amazingly, it worked. Santabot 2.0 flew off into the night, dropping presents with mechanical precision. It didn’t stop for milk and cookies. It didn’t check if kids were sleeping. It just buzzed, “HO HO HO. NEXT HOUSE IN 4.3 SECONDS.”
As they watched, Santa vanished in a flash of green light. Then, pop , he reappeared in the exact same spot, tangled in the same lights, covered in the same marshmallow fluff. He let out the same groan. “You know, boss,” Kringle said, “for a jolly
“It’s terrifying,” Twinkle said.
“He’s done it again,” sighed Kringle, the Head of Logistics, rubbing his temples with his tiny, mittened hands. There, in the middle of the frozen courtyard,
And back at the North Pole, Santa Claus sat in his armchair, a “I Survived My Own Invention” mug in his hand, watching the sunrise. Kringle walked by, holding the melted remains of the Quantum Sleigh 3000.
On Christmas morning, children around the world woke up to presents. They also woke up to a strange, tinny recording that played from every chimney speaker: