Buster disappears behind the bush. Rustling sounds. Jamie hears a faint, satisfied “boof.”
(to the sky) WHY.
(holding leash, checking watch) Buster. We’ve been circling this hydrant for seven minutes. It’s 6 AM. My coffee’s getting cold back in the car. Pooping Dog Script
Buster stands up. Nothing happened. He trots toward a bush.
Buster emerges, tail high, looking proud. He does a little zoomie. Buster disappears behind the bush
Buster stares into the middle distance. A single bird chirps. Buster turns around and faces Jamie directly, making intense eye contact.
You’re lucky you’re cute.
Every dog owner knows. The perfect spot does not exist. Only the perfect inconvenience.
(deadpan) Yep. There it is. Right on my neighbor’s prized begonias. (sighs, pulls out a bag) This is love. This is what love looks like. (holding leash, checking watch) Buster
Don’t look at me when you do it. That’s weird.