“No!” Sauron roared, his voice crackling with digital artifacts. “That will verify every file! My flaming eye will be reduced to a JPEG artifact!”
He played for six hours straight, dominated a fortress, and never once had to insert a disc.
When the monitor returned, the desktop was gone. In its place was a view of a volcanic forge. And standing at the anvil was a tall, silver-haired figure in wraith-like armor.
Kellan stared at it for a long moment.
He hit ‘Install.’
“Look,” Kellan said, raising his hands. “I just wanted to dominate orcs and build a cool fortress. Can’t we fix this?”
Kellan had been downloading the file for seventeen hours. His internet connection, much like the forsaken plains of Gorgoroth, was a wasteland of lag and broken promises. Middle-earth - Shadow of War DE -FitGirl Repack...
Middle-earth – Shadow of War – Definitive Edition – FitGirl Repack [by FitGirl]
“Thank you for playing. Please consider buying the game if you enjoyed it. – FitGirl”
The installer was… unusual. Instead of the usual grey windows prompt, a single red eye blinked at him from the center of the screen. A deep, gravelly voice came through his headphones—not the Windows chime, but something far older. When the monitor returned, the desktop was gone
Celebrimbor pinched the bridge of his spectral nose. “Fool. By using a compressed, unauthorized repack, you have fractured the New Ring. Its data is scattered across your hard drive in 200-megabyte RAR volumes.”
But finally, the progress bar hit 100%. He stared at the folder.
Celebrimbor nodded. “The repack is repaired. The Ring is whole. You may now play… the Definitive Edition.” Kellan stared at it for a long moment
Suddenly, a second figure stomped into frame. Taller, angrier, and covered in spikes.