She cried until she was hollow.
The chair was the first thing she stopped noticing. Living Beyond Loss- Death in the Family
She still misses him. She always will.
The first month was a geography of absence. His toothbrush, still in the holder. His slippers, a trip hazard by the bed. His voice on the answering machine— "You've reached Martin. Leave a message, and I'll get back to you if it's important." —which Elara listened to seventeen times before her mother erased it. "It's too hard," her mother had said, but Elara knew the truth: erasing was easier than hearing the dead speak every time you walked through the door. She cried until she was hollow
For the first time, she didn't look away. She always will
It sat in the corner of the living room, a worn leather recliner with a dent in the cushion shaped exactly like her father’s spine. For three weeks after the funeral, Elara would walk past it, her gaze skimming over it like a rock skipping over water. She couldn’t look at it directly. To look meant to see him there—reading glasses perched on his nose, the thump-thump of his thumb on the armrest as he listened to jazz, the low rumble of a laugh that no longer existed.
The family had gathered, cried, eaten casseroles, and dispersed like startled birds. Her mother had retreated into a brittle shell of organization, labeling every leftover container in the freezer with a Sharpie. Her younger brother, Leo, had flown back to his life across the country, his grief disguised as urgency. And Elara stayed. She stayed in the house that smelled of cedar and silence.