Done. Let's get into it. You’ve been called the most famous person of the 21st century. How does that feel?
(Stands up. Poses. Checks her phone.)
Some critics say you’re famous for... nothing.
She’s a mogul. A muse. A master of the selfie. For the first time ever, she sits down for the interview the world has been waiting for. Please welcome... the one and only... Kim Kardashian . kim kardashian superstar interview
(Sips Diet Coke dramatically) . You know... people don't realize. It’s a lot of work. One time, I cried for 47 minutes because my SKIMS shapewear roll wasn't seamless. But then I looked in the mirror, and I thought... wow . Even the tear tracks are iconic.
Final question. What is the meaning of life?
That's... actually kind of deep.
(Already walking away, calling over shoulder) . I know. Text my assistant for the quote approval. Bye, beautiful people.
(Leans in, whispers) . Be comfortable. But make it thong . Also, lighting. Never trust a ring light under 18 inches. And if you break the internet? Don't fix it. Just post the screenshot and sell the merch.
(Adjusts hair, doesn't blink) . Of course. I’m so honored. But can we please turn down the lights? My right contour is catching a shadow. How does that feel
Speaking of business—SKIMS is worth billions. What’s the secret?
(Laughs, a single, elegant "ha") . Nothing? Honey. Getting dressed for the Met Gala takes 300 hours. That’s not nothing. That’s exhausting art . Also, I passed the baby bar. What have my critics passed? Probably a judgmental note under a bathroom stall.