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JURASSIC PARKING — This Summer, Validate Your Fear.
“You’re gonna need a bigger ticket stub.”
(Montage: A triceratops parallel parks over three hours. A pterodactyl steals the complimentary mints. The valet runs in slow motion, clutching a key fob that doesn’t reach.)
“The Trailer for ‘Jurassic Parking: A Valet’s Nightmare’”
“Tip your valet. Or else.”
“In a world…”
(Opening shot: Dramatic, Oscar-bait music. A lone valet stands in an underground garage. A T-Rex tries to fit into a compact spot.)
(Cut to a raptor learning to use a turn signal — incorrectly. It just claws the light off.)
(Final shot: The valet stands alone in the rubble of the garage, holding a single, unscathed “Claim Check #84.” He looks at the camera.)
“One man… one ticket machine that only takes exact change… and 12 tons of prehistoric road rage.”
(Cut to the valet, radio crackling.)
“I should’ve worked at Chuck E. Cheese .”
“Sir, this is a no-idling zone. Also? I’m going to eat your clipboard.”
JURASSIC PARKING — This Summer, Validate Your Fear.
“You’re gonna need a bigger ticket stub.”
(Montage: A triceratops parallel parks over three hours. A pterodactyl steals the complimentary mints. The valet runs in slow motion, clutching a key fob that doesn’t reach.)
“The Trailer for ‘Jurassic Parking: A Valet’s Nightmare’”
“Tip your valet. Or else.”
“In a world…”
(Opening shot: Dramatic, Oscar-bait music. A lone valet stands in an underground garage. A T-Rex tries to fit into a compact spot.)
(Cut to a raptor learning to use a turn signal — incorrectly. It just claws the light off.)
(Final shot: The valet stands alone in the rubble of the garage, holding a single, unscathed “Claim Check #84.” He looks at the camera.)
“One man… one ticket machine that only takes exact change… and 12 tons of prehistoric road rage.”
(Cut to the valet, radio crackling.)
“I should’ve worked at Chuck E. Cheese .”
“Sir, this is a no-idling zone. Also? I’m going to eat your clipboard.”
