Daphne And Irina. Show 1 -

And you’re a control artist who just got evicted from her own fruit bowl. (She steals the apple and takes a loud bite) Camera two, close up on anarchy.

Fruit cartography. You’ve lost your mind. (She finally looks up) What’s the theme of today’s show, by the way? Last week was “Do I have a personality, or just good taste?” The week before was “Is my ex a narcissist or just French?”

It’s a Gala, Irina. Not an apple. Galas have symmetry. Red is at 2 o’clock. Green is at 8. This is basic fruit cartography. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

You’re a monster.

(smiles tightly) No, darling. Something I’m exhausted by. There’s a difference. Control is a rental agreement with anxiety. You think you’re the landlord. You’re not. You’re the tenant who’s afraid of the boiler. And you’re a control artist who just got

(without looking up) If you rotate that apple one more time, I’m going to film it and put it on the internet. Title: Woman Declares War on Produce.

(placing the last grape with tweezers) Today’s theme is control. You’ve lost your mind

(long pause. Then a slow grin.) That’s not profound. That’s mean . I love it. (beat) Okay, Show 1, Rule 1: Daphne is not allowed to arrange anything for the rest of the day.

Finally. Something you’re bad at.