So Kael did what any desperate player would do. He sought the Calculator.
Then, on the eighth day, a guildmate whispered: “Derpy is coming. Tomorrow.”
And in the corner of his screen, still open in a forgotten tab, the Alchemy 50 Calculator displayed a new message:
He opened it.
But Kael found it.
From that day on, he never brewed a single awkward potion without consulting it. And when new players asked, “How do I know if I have enough?” Kael would smile, send them the GitHub link, and whisper:
Kael stared. Thirty-four million coins. He had six million.
And then he bought exactly 2,728 enchanted sugar cane and 1,364 enchanted spider eyes. To the unit.
Old guides pointed to a long-dead Discord bot. Forum posts said the original developer had quit after the “Great Enchanting Overhaul of 2024.” Some claimed the Calculator had been a myth—a placebo to make brewers feel secure.
Kael reopened the Calculator. He typed in the same numbers. He checked the Derpy box.
“Do you have the courage to know the truth?”
He sold his livid dagger. He sold his shadow assassin chestplate. He liquidated his minion chests. He borrowed three million from a real-life friend, promising to pay back in enchanted diamond blocks.
But not just any spreadsheet.
“The calculator knows. Ask it nicely. And never forget to check the Derpy box.”
At level 49, he had three potions left. His fingers were raw. His eyes burned.